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It goes without saying that for optimum health of both self and partnership, some things sexual cannot just be tossed under the rug. We cannot healthfully deny our sexual orientation, for instance. If we have strong fetishes, preferences or proclivities that we know don't or can't include or interest our partner, assuming we'll "grow out of them" (or assuming our partner will, or that we can change them) is unrealistic and unfair to everyone.